My Alibi

my eyes are closing...

dont tread on me...

I shot the lighthouse this evening with my friend Blake.

In addition to taking pictures, I have started working on my vintage road bike. I bought it while I was in New York, but just started to improve it. I haven't figured out all my plans for it, but one thing I am for sure about, the color is going from metallic gold, to satin purple.

Pictures coming soon.

red message alert...

i cannot not go into details about red messages, nor do i want to. but last night there was one. if you get a call from the frg, you know it has nothing to do with you. if your soldier is injured they will call you, and if they are killed in action, someone comes to your house.

so, the call last night. was to say we would receive an official message in email form. you know it isnt your soldier, but you still feel a knot in your stomach. i waited about an hour and a half for the email after the call. you read the message, and you are relieved. but then you feel worse. because someones family isnt feeling relief.

they went out on a mission. left the wire. there are no phone calls to or from there, when youre outside the wire. they do more day missions than overnight missions. but the last time i heard from him was 0500 friday. he called to tell me he wouldnt be able to talk to me for an undetermined amount of time.

reminder: War Made Easy, tonight at 6 pm, at the Brookens Auditorium, UIS.

war made easy

"The University of Illinois at Springfield series Political Art and the Public Sphere continues with a screening of the film "War Made Easy" at 6 p.m. Monday, March 23, in Brookens Auditorium, located on the lower level of Brookens Library on the UIS campus. Both the film and the discussion session that follows are free and open to the public."

http://www.warmadeeasythemovie.org/

I am looking forward to going. You should come too.

i've been roaming around, always looking down...

ten things about me:
1. i really hate germs.
2. i only trust 0.07% of people i know. (all or nothing)
3. i listen to music extremely loud while i drive.
4. highway driving scares me, everytime.
5. i have been in a cop car 3 times (but never have been in trouble)
6. i make up for mental weakness with physical strength.
7. i cannot sleep without the radio on.
8. indian food is my favorite.
9. i say the word "dude" for two reasons:
-i am trying to play it cool
-or i could care less
10. i am always cold, i carry a sweatshirt around in the summer

i'd like to see you...

So, I have a secret dream. To one day own a roadside motel, in a small town. I would want it to have a pool, and for every bathroom to have a window that opens.

I imagine people running away from their problems, stopping late at night to sleep their day off. Or young lovers on road trips.

I love staying at motels like that, as long as they have bathroom windows that open. I have stayed in so many motels, nice ones, okay ones, and straight crack motels, all over the country. The walls are yellow, wallpaper is peeling. There are always stains on the carpet. The lampshades are dented. Sometimes the shower faucet never stops dripping. Ones with upper level outdoor walkways are the best. Mini-fridges are ok, but the doors on them always seem to fall off.

And preferably, walking distance to a gas station and diner.

By far my favorite was this place in Shelbyville, Illinois. There was a phone booth in the middle of the parking lot. And a bar around back. My second favorite was a place in Anaheim, California. The fence around the pool was falling over.

Anyone looking for a week day adventure?

patrol...

So, a while back I scheduled a ride-along with one of Springfield's finest, a patrol officer I befriended a while back, that patrols my neighborhood. Anyway, before I went out this afternoon, I told my mom I bet that we would arrest someone that I know. And sure enough. However, we did do normal things, we went and got coffee from the gas station, we also went to the diner and ate greasy food. Yum. Chatted with neighbors, drove around looking for bad people. All in all, it was a good experience.

We were driving down the street and Officer S noticed a vehicle with no front license plate, and recognized the driver. She lived in the neighborhood and is a known heroin junkie and prostitute. She wasn't always like that. Anyway, she was attempting to exit her vehicle before Officer S even fully made the walk to her driver's side door. As he walked up he saw her stashing something in the gear-shifter console. He then asked for her permission to search the vehicle, to which she agreed. He conducted an immediate search of the console where he found a syringe loaded with heroin. He then placed her in hand-cuffs and called for a female officer to conduct a pat down. The driver was then placed in the vehicle, along with me. I talked to her for a bit, she asked me if I thought she would be charged witha felony, I told her I wasn't a cop, but she probably would, especially, with priors. She cried.

We took her to the county jail, she was in processed. Then allowed to make a phone call. We left, went to the city station and finished the paperwork. Then I came home.

with your shield, or on it...

My soldier. He joined the military several years before September 11th. He wanted to learn a skill, and utilize those skills for the betterment of his fellow soldiers. He hates yelling, even after ten years. He reaches out to help at any opportunity. He is in Afghanistan. Today, they had a mission. And because of the work his unit has been doing, in an Eastern Village, people were able to celebrate their freedom. For the first time a group of people were able to partake in something that prior to Zach's unit presence probably would not have happened.

You don't have to understand war, you don't have to like it, you do not have to directly serve in it. But you can dig deep inside of yourself, and respect the people and soldiers that get up at 0400 every morning (if they got to sleep at all), thousands of miles from home, their families, real mattresses, home cooked food, and love.

Maybe instead of complaining, you could support groups like Soldiers Angels or the USO.

the way we get by and other things...

The Way We Get By - Trailer from The Way We Get By on Vimeo.

The Way We Get By Movie

Also, starting March 16th, the News Hour on PBS, will be airing reports from Afghanistan.

Check the PBS website for local listings.

What Is the Real Message of Yellow Ribbons on Cars? (go to the listen now part)

last, but not least, in the spirit of saint patricks day:

reaching...

i came here, during the deployment, because i thought it would be more comfortable than new york. its not, more or less. the same. i feel so disconnected, i was gone long enough to feel like i changed and when i came back everyone was doing the same things.

i just want different things i guess. but im really struggling with it. my activities consist of crafting, photo-taking, working, and going to the gym. everything feels fake, like "false motivation." i just didnt want to live like that.

night.

man your battle stations, we'll have you home pretty soon

i am having a "woe is me" moment, bear with me.

this is how my brain feels.

i have 37 hours worth of things to do tomorrow (today) and there are only 24 hours in a day.

does anyone around here use AT&T's aircard for internet? i do, but i havent used it in 3 months, because i dont get any reception, where i am presently living. every time i call at&t, there is a mysterious "high call volume." speaking of phones, i use sprint as well, and for me to call afghanistan, its about 2.08/minute, so i have a pretty hefty bill this month. anyone want to sponsor me? : ) also, i cannot stand state farm, they have horrible customer service skills, and i cant get rid of them soon enough. i cant wait to start riding my bike everywhere again.

i am working on a small business venture that i am hoping to "launch" later today. although, most starts are slow, i am nervous at the thought of being a failure. some places i am a big fish in a little pond (small peer group), but out of the entire world, i am just me.

my hope in life, is to make everything, as wonderful as possible. will you be there with me? i hope so.

look out your window...

Michelle Obama, speaks to communities around the country, about reaching out to military families.

I think that it is an amazing request. But one that will go unfulfilled. I think some people do reach out. But most people don't. Some don't know where to start and some just don't care.

I am in an FRG, Family Readiness Group, and each one is different, some are good, and some bad. An FRG is supposed to be a information conduit between the Army and families, when necessary. It is supposed to also act as a "community" for families during a deployment. My FRG, is in New York. We recently had a change in leadership, and I am hopeful. However, while I receive lovely emails regarding events and happenings in the Fort Drum, NY community to entertain military families during the deployment, none of them apply to me. Over and over, I ask myself, what does the FRG do for a relocated spouse? I have yet to find an answer. Over the last few months, I have been trying to figure out a way to solve this problem, not just for me, but for other relocated spouses and future ones. One idea that I had was to find a family in the relocated spouses' area, to adopt them, so to speak. Someone, who perhaps has experience with Tricare (military insurance), which phone card is the best, or even just a dinner here and there.

task force spartan in the tangi valley...

the link below is a video of my husbands last mission posted to the defenselink.mil website.

COALITION FORCES FLEX MUSCLES IN TANGI VALLEY

almost near the end, after Aldersons part, there is a huge truck passing by, right to left. thats my husbands truck. i literally started screaming, i was so excited to it.

This is an article that goes with the video.

Clearing the Tangi: Task Force in Afghanistan Takes Troubled Valley

Additional Photo Essay

U.S. Soldiers Conduct Operations in Tangi Valley, Afghanistan

great cause...

My best friend, Megan, is a teacher, on the southwest side of Chicago. She is looking for some support for a project she is working on.

Pre-K and the Potentially Perfect Play Place!

Description:

"Hello! My pre-kindergarten classroom community consists of beautiful 3 and 4 year old children. We are a blended classroom of children with special needs and typically developing students and are housed in a public school on the southwest side of Chicago.

By supporting this endeavor, you will make it possible for our students to experience what many affluent students oftentimes get to: sufficient, indoor large motor experiences when outdoor activities are unavailable. Your help will ensure that my students develop a new daily routine to normalize into; there will be no more scrambling to create large motor activities. Rather, our students will have a specified series of activities at the same time every school day. Because of you, my students will understand our cold months school routine, will have respectful activities to explore, and will be prepared to execute the rest of their days because of an organized energy release. Thank you so much for your kindness!"

Pre-K and the Potentially Perfect Play Place!

whats goin' on...

made by hand...

i am working on sewing by hand, a map of afghanistan.

afghanistan, my coffee is getting cold...

The video below is on the PBS, Frontline website, from the Editor's Notes. I was really surprised to see such graphic news of and out of Afghanistan. I feel like a majority of people forget we are at war in the country. And no one knows what we are doing. Everyone, almost everyone, can give you their opinion on Iraq. But what do people know about this war?

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/story/2009/02/late-afternoon-attack.html

We are training Afghani Police and Army Forces, how to look after themselves. But as the reported in the video, there is a varying degree of quality. We are there to "win hearts and minds." However, most tribal areas are controlled by the Taliban. The people in these villages are at the mercy of the Taliban. They are forbidden to interact with American and Coalition Forces.

Zach, told me about one of their missions. Normally, when they go through a village the kids smile and wave, the people make eye contact, and he said on this one particular day, they were driving through a different village. No one smiled or waved, no eye contact was made. He said everyone knew something was off, something was wrong. He said they braced for what they did not know. And the next thing they knew RPGs were coming and they were hit by small arms fire. He said by the time they got through and into the next village, everyone, the people, were all smiles and waves. And the soldiers knew, there they were safe.

Very little news on Afghanistan is being reported. Maybe if casualties are taken. We always hear, when a soldier dies. I strongly feel, Afghanistan is something we have not given enough attention to. I'm worried people don't really care.

drink water, drive on...

stay motivated babe!

i should have used velcro...

would someone be interested in adopting me?

scenes from afghanistan, part 2...

photo used with permission, taken by zach, please ask for permission before taking/using this photo.

incoming, scenes from afghanistan, part 1

photo used with permission, taken by zach, please ask for permission before taking/using this photo.