March 28, 2006
you wont find the truth...
The ante was just upped today. My grandmother had one of her regular and almost weekly “check-ups” and the outcome was not good. Her weight is now down to 73 pounds. That means that the chances of me walking in the door and finding her dead just increased. And her doctor is an idiot and no one in our family is grasping the severity of the situation.
At the end of last summer she was put on an “anti-depressant” which is not FDA approved for weight gain, but is a possible side affect. She has lost weight, instead of gaining. You don’t have to go through medical school to know it is not working. Her son, shrugs all of this off. I seriously don’t think he has a single serious thought about it, and her oldest daughter, states away, seems too preoccupied with her retirement to even pretend to care. She has 6 grandchildren, myself included, and I have been the only one of them to play any consistent role in her life since these problems began.
A person can only survive at 73 pounds for so long. Family is planning a trip to see her at the end of April and I have a feeling it might the last time they see her alive, at this rate. They call and check in time to time, send their greeting cards and gifts, thinking that it might show they care. But really, it is not enough. I have gotten to literally watch her, day in and day out, waste away to nothing. And it’s not okay. At least not with me.
As a whole, a majority of my family has been a huge letdown. I know my mother here, taking part in this as well. But when it seems like everyone else is sitting back watching someone else do all the work, it’s hard to feel good about them. I like to call it a family of convenience. I am only family, she is only family when it is convenient for them. To me that isn’t a real family. They either don’t care that much or just oblivious.
I feel like I’m drowning again.
