March 31, 2005
reconcile...
im in such a good mood right now. i just ordered the new choke record. but its coming from canada so it will probably take forever to get here. so i downloaded one of their new songs, and thats why im in such a good mood, because its so good. i burned it so i can take it to work tomorrow and listen to it all day.
March 29, 2005
you were there...
there are all these things
that make up people and make up me
and inbetween everything
we are somewhere, i am there too.
but there are all these distractions,
so much going on.
walls, doors, blank faces, empty places,
but mostly in myself.
it feels so easy to get lost
and so hard to find my way back.
March 24, 2005
the right answers...
my mom passed along to me, an email she recently recieved. it was in reference to my grandmother. and it was just the push i think we needed to get the ball rolling, in regards to a plan of action, even if it is only the first step.
the worst feeling in the world is not knowing how to help someone that needs and wants your help. i spend most nights researching and studying; rights, facilities, protocol, laws, medical procedures, mediator groups. you know, when you dont have a choice, the understanding it takes to get it all, really comes easily.
im sure there will be more to come. its too late and im only just now starting my load of laundry.
March 22, 2005
dont ask, dont tell....
my grandma is in a "skilled nursing facility." i supposed "skilled" being the keyword. my mom was right, when she said the people that work there are basically medical field rejects. it has become completely apparent, that these places let just about any iddiot work for them.
my grandma is a tracheostomy patient. most people know what that is. she has alot of lung secretions, and is too weak to cough them up on her own. therefore, she has to be suctioned, through the trach, as needed. if the secretions are not coughed up, or suctioned, it could create a blockage in her airway. that level of care requires 24 hour supervision and monitoring. and everyone in her immediate family have jobs. a home nurse is extremely costly, and if it werent for the cost, it would be the ideal situation, mostly for her.
more about the necessary care. she has a feeding tube. a g tube, that goes directly into her stomach from her side. all of her nutrition goes through this tube, along with her medication. usually the medicine comes in pill form and is crushed then mixed with water, to dissolve it. the care required to operate and maintain the feedings, and actual apparatus is relatively simple. but the tracheostomy care on the other hand is not. the more you know about it however, the easier it seems. and seeing people you think are supposed to know their job messing it up and not realizing or not caring, makes you feel like you are probably much smarter than they. anyway, most complicated part of it, is suctioning, which is an invasive procedure. that must be entirely sterile. supplies are gathered, sterile gloves are put on, and a suctioning cathater is opened, remaining in the package, is then connected to the end of a hose connected to a vacum and receptacle. with at least one sterile gloved hand, the cathader is removed from the wrapping, touching nothing. there is a thumb port at the end of the cathater to control suction. you may touch the cathater with the sterile glove. you instill the trach, with sterile saline, meaning dropping a few drops into the hole. it adds moisture to the secretions and helps to break them up, making suctioning easier. in the past week, i have seem so many people mess it up. its unreal. using an unsterile glove, brushing the cathater against their gown.
i got there tonight around 6 o'clock, and she was the most upset i had seen her since she has been there. she said she had been waiting a while since she pulled her nurse call switch. she was practically in tears. i cant stand seeing her like that. she was such a capable person, and will be again. she is supposed to be there to have prompt care should she need it, and physical and speech rehabilitation, and the pieces of the puzzle are not fitting together. she is so apprehensive most of the time, it really inhibits her from "recovering."
to top it off, it smells like a porta-potty, half of the people look sedated. i already saw one resident sexually harass another. there isnt a registered nurse in her wing at all times. in fact, there is about 1 sorry excuse for an LPN available for every 60 patients. when i met the administrator, i specifically asked her if there would be a nurse on duty in that wing 24 hours a day, and she said yes.
we need to get her the hell out of there, as fast as possible. which means we find another facility, or raise enough funds to hire a home nurse. the latter would be hers and our preference.
