My Alibi

just a series of blurs: like i never occurred...

just when you think you are invincible, something always comes crashing down. just when you think have experienced the worst situations you will be faced with in your lifetime, they keep coming. these waves of disappointment, failure, sadness, emptiness, cold, regret, anger, lack of understanding. you feel like you have brought so much to this earth, that something great would come along, and erase all those bad things. literally, erase them.
i just always thought, i am the rock you stand on, or i have been at one time. to everyone who i have allowed to be close to me. someone told me they couldnt ask me to do anymore, because they thought they asked to much. i remember that night so well. i said "if someone i care about needs me to move a mountain, then thats what i'll do." i always thought it paid to be that kind of person. but it hurts more than its worth.
all this time has passed, people and places. and i dont even have any piece of mind to show for it. its beyond situational.
i know all this is, at this moment, is letting a bad moment get the best of me. but its really hard walking around full of nothing. and pretending its ok. and when the straw broke the camels back, there was nothing. silence. because no one was around.

note: there is a good chance this could be deleted in the next 24 hours. i am just being stupid.