My Alibi

i might just be retarded...

so, i was just catching up on some of the job posts on criagslist chicago. and it makes me hate myself, one for not being in chicago, and two, there is a job opening at a law firm for a legal secretary, salary starting at 40k. it makes me feel like crap. i am putting in twice the work here and making not even close to that. and i could be in a city that has alot more to offer (good and bad), instead of being here, which tends to make life feel uncontrolably stagnant.

i heard a quote on tv tonight, and im not really sure if i believe, but it just sounded so nice: when the student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear. the reason it caught my eye, is mainly because i feel that i have finally started to turn my attitude around. in simplest terms from "i cant" to "i can." i know it probably seems so minuscule, but to me it means a lot.

bottom line is, the only reason i could get fired is for being overqualified. i was thinking about that today, when i was wisking the fucking floor. the sad thing is, at about midnight tonight, i actually considered going back to the shop to finish my clean up. if that alone doesnt tell you anything about my work ethic or dedication, i dont know what would.

woof...

my neighbors dog, barked in his pin till 4 o'clock this morning. because they went out of town and their 21 year old son is supposed to be watching him. its now a few after 1 in the afternoon and he is back out there in that yard doing it again. im sure all he wants is someone to come home and let him inside so he can sit at their feet with a toy. its really starting to bothering me, all that barking. im not going to call the cops because all they will do is write them a ticket. but i've just never been friends with that kid ever. even though we are the same age. bah.

hi

just to let everyone know, my comments havent been working for a while now, and i havent had the time to just sit down and figure it out. i suck at this internet shit. maybe i will give up.

allie

hi

just to let everyone know, my comments havent been working for a while now, and i havent had the time to just sit down and figure it out. i suck at this internet shit. maybe i will give up.

allie

a case of the monday...(Shooting at the Capitol)

as many people are and are not aware of. there was a shooting this afternoon at the illinois state capital building, in springfield, illinois. a security was wounded in the chest and between 3:30 and 4:00 this afternoon, it was confirmed that the wound(s) he recieved were indeed fatal.

recently with the assault ban being lifted, there has been much talk about gun control issues. and granted in the united states, american are known for their love of weapons, especialy guns. personally, i dont not have a problem with guns, i have determined my main problem is some of the people with these guns. there is no way to determine how a particular individual will use a gun. and that is the problem as i see it at this point in time. note: if you know anyone who illegally posses a gun urge them to either A) legalize it or B) turn it in. thank you.

ahhhhhh....

today, or tonight rather, is one of those nights, where i need a pep talk. maybe its just because i am tired and i cant go to sleep until my laundry gets done. and that i dont want to go to work tomorrow but there is no one else to work. and im bummed that megan is leaving. its been so fun and nice getting to hang out with her. and miles is gone. so i have no one to hang out with. im not really into going to some kiddie party where they are smoking from 4 foot bongs or drinking to get trashed. im so over that. i guess im just feeling frustrated. and discouraged. help.

i am a bike gang...

youre at A and you can see D, but how do you get to B and then C? maybe life is just some ridiculous mathmatical equation. unfortunate for me, but math was and has always been my worst subject.

stencil, bike shop (get break fixed & tune-up), sleep, get check and go to bank

have a little faith in me...

so, today, the power went out, my alarm clock did not go off, and i woke up late. what the fuck is up with that? it started out a pretty bad day. no one cool even came into the shop today. but it seemed to go by pretty fast. then tonight was crap. oh well. but then tonight i got to chill with megan for a bit and that was fun. even though a slug slimed its way onto her shoe and then onto her foot. she screamed alot. i laughed so hard it made my chest and stomach hurt. i wish i had my camera. oh well. another one for the books.

and by the way, slugs are one of the most disgusting organisms on earth.

hmm...

i have 6 gmail invites available. i bet you didnt think i was that cool, did you? i dont really talk to anyone enough on here to know who to give them to, or if i should at all. what do you think?

but we'll stay...

Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
Head when you're away when I am missing you to death
When you are out there on the road for
Several weeks of shows and when you scan
The radio, I hope this song will guide you home
(i have that song stuck in my head, love iron and wine)

things to do:

-remind megan that the true hollywood story of tammy faye is going to be on at 7 central on E!
-maybe go by the bike store
-get deposit ready (go to the bank)
-maybe work on a stencil
-call staples about ribbon
clean up living-room

(may be subject to change)

could it be?

so, johnny, megan, and i went dumpster diving tonight. i scored a sweet typewriter, in complete working condition. it will probably need a new ribbon soon. but it even had the instruction manual with it. (i will post some pictures tomorrow probably) and its electric. megan found a newspaper stand. but she didnt get it tonight. she will probably go back tomorrow to pick it up. hopefully those folks dont have garbage pick up this morning.
i wish there was some sort of street art group here. but if you got caught doing anything like that around here, the police departments gang unit would probably turn the smallest stencil into some new gang.
there is a group of people that run the space/springfield community network. but seeing how they havent updated that site for a while and i've never had a good vibe any of the times i have visited, it just doesnt seem like the rigtht group for me.

yawn. im up too late, again.

million dollar question: what the secret?

lets thrash...

the dumbest people come into the skate shop. this one guy came in the other day, just to suck up, i think. regardless, i would hate to imagine the people that come in on the days im not working. poor johnny, having to work fridays and saturdays when they all come out of the woodwork. people want deals all the time. yeah, we are a locally owned and operated shop, but we arent rollin in dough. we make enough to get by. the market here is awful. so, is the economy. and parents need to get a clue as to why their kids keep breaking decks week after week. its because their kids cant skate. they are 14, 15, 16 year old kids that are trying to look like badasses and they land on the tail, and that is followed by a SNAP!!! and you cant tell a parent that their kid sucks. haha. that would not be good for business. decks are made out of wood, and last time i checked, wood was known to weaken, deteriorate, and not give as much as people would like to think.
we have the same problem with shoes. people buy a pair of shoes that generally cost anywhere from 65 dollars to 79 dollars. they skate in them up to a few hours a day. then they fall apart. what do you expect when you are constantly rubbing your shoes on sandpaper? c'mon. learn how to by a less expensive pair, and you wont care as much when they fall apart. we have some great sales on vision and circa shoes right now, for around 30 bucks. oh, no? you have to buy a pair of pro model signature shoes? well, guess what. for every pair of those shoes you are buying you are selling out to everything skateboarding was never meant to be. you are putting money into the pockets of the skater who doesnt want to come to your town to do a demo. you are helping jack up the price of the shoes and making them less affordable than they were before.
in conclusion. the skateboarding industry is just as corrupt as any other. its all about money. almost all your skateboard products are made in china and mexico. you are supporting outsourcing and lower quality. people get what they ask for.

(i've never really talked about my job before, but its something that i have been thinking about. you work somewhere different then some corporate job thinking that the people that are going to come into your store are going to be a little more special then your general consumer. it could just be the town, i dont know. some are, but most arent.)

i know where i've been but i dont know where im going...

does anyone want to be friends?