My Alibi

i might just be retarded...

so, i was just catching up on some of the job posts on criagslist chicago. and it makes me hate myself, one for not being in chicago, and two, there is a job opening at a law firm for a legal secretary, salary starting at 40k. it makes me feel like crap. i am putting in twice the work here and making not even close to that. and i could be in a city that has alot more to offer (good and bad), instead of being here, which tends to make life feel uncontrolably stagnant.

i heard a quote on tv tonight, and im not really sure if i believe, but it just sounded so nice: when the student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear. the reason it caught my eye, is mainly because i feel that i have finally started to turn my attitude around. in simplest terms from "i cant" to "i can." i know it probably seems so minuscule, but to me it means a lot.

bottom line is, the only reason i could get fired is for being overqualified. i was thinking about that today, when i was wisking the fucking floor. the sad thing is, at about midnight tonight, i actually considered going back to the shop to finish my clean up. if that alone doesnt tell you anything about my work ethic or dedication, i dont know what would.