My Alibi

"where do you think your shit will be when you get home from work..."

my feet are fucking thrashed, and my brain is so fucking tired, i dont want to go to the shop tomorrow (today, really). im soooo sleepy but i dont want to go to bed. ugh, i hate this crap. i hate everyone because everyone gets to go on trip but me, while i "hold down the fort" but for what?? to go unappreciated? shit. i guess i just want some type of recognition for anything. for being the "soulful" and kind-hearted person i am. i want to hear corey say "allie, if it werent for you i could have never had any of the positive experiences for almost the past year, with the piece of mind you have given knowing you are the one taking care of my life and home, thank you." when i was little my mother told me wishes arent real, and i never really grasped that concept until i started compromising myself for other people. and i know that is wrong, but im not the type of person to smash someones hopes and dreams into the fucking ground unprovoked. when more than one person is involved with something, someone always have to give and either that means i am fucking weak or too strong for my own good. i cant judge that side of me at all, because i barely know it. so feel free, if you have some great profound vision or whatever. i will say that i know myself well enough to know if we cross pathes (not in a negative sense) that you will either forget me imediately (realitive) or always remember me.

pulling my hair out.